Lord of the Roads

Jug Suraiya is one of my fav writers, he is good at rubbishing stuff in style.. read it
Inspired by him I tried my hand at writing here goes:


A pesky kid, who hates to equip his cerebellum will be admonished with a prediction of hitting the streets soon, insinutating that the worst and despicable are in the streets. On a cognitive level, streets are meant for the filth of the earth to reside and thats the connotation wayside owns. Culturally we are constrained to maintain this standard to make sure our caste system is alive and kicking without the lines getting blurred. Personal hygiene is part of our culture and ritual intricately woven with our celebrations and worship. Pumpkins completely mutilated and squashed on the roads are a monthly affair for purity of soul, holiness will hit new high when the goey matter of the pumpkin skids a motorist to split his head. Free play of bacteria, leptospirosis, plagues moving our streets are celebrated now and then with blaring sounds of filmi music belted out from conical speakers. Its pay back time, for all those rubbish we contributed to keep the legacy of our culture alive. The solution probabably is to get people to own the streets and legally make them their homes. Ownership in exchange for payment . Urinate for Rs150, spit for Rs100, big job for Rs500. The government must provide legal documents and those who consistently pay should be provided with a ownership deed to legally own a stretch of road. Banks and Financial Institutions must provide loans to this cause. Anyway its unfair to drag names such as Mahatma Gandhi, Vallabhai Patel or Sarojini Devi to the streets.