Saturday, January 07, 2012

My wishy washy 2011

I have been through 53 christmases and new years.  As a child I had those regular fun times...  putting up christmas tree and gifts and new clothes and goodies to eat etc... we then as the Bee Gees sing "But we're tall and christmas trees are small..."  Maybe its those years that have rolled by.  But looking back I felt anyone gently handing over a wish for a Birthday or New Year made me a little uneasy..... yes I did respond with the same lines adding a Thank you to it.  I have tried escaping from this 'wishy washy' activity but alas iam too much into it.
Just when I thought i have sidestepped I have realized that the most unexpected of people utter those wishy lines. 
Well this year I responded with most of those wishes  by saying " hey I take the hint "  and then I look at a puzzled and often disappointed face.  I say WTF and laugh it off and respond with the customary and expected response.  Its a pain when you have respond to mails, texts messages and facebook updates.  But then this year I decided to write a nice customized stuff to a friend of mine, who actually interacts with me on a regular basis on many life issues,  I poured myself into it, dealt on somethign called 'polar pairs'  and sent it as a PDF ... by mail.  Maybe its what I did made me expect too much out of it.  But trust me it was a whimper.  I was delighted when I got a call to say how wonderful the gesture was.  That made me want to believe that - i would rather have some one who could rip my entrails out after reading what I have written than have some one view it casually and give those warm fuzzy words.  MEANINGLESS I felt like screaming ..  That was my start for a 'Wishy washy 2011' .  I need to really work hard to reverse this disappointing start.
These wishes that you get is an indication of the people around you.  If you get more of it and you get submerged by it... either you are successful, rich and popular that  you have attracted  hoards of simple folks all around you who feast of the sugar candies of life. But  if you dont receive any  then you are either a recluse, a complete loser, economically weak that  you havemanaged to  keep away the sugar candy varies in a distance.  Let me join hands with Fernando Pessoa and say " I carry my awareness of defeat like a banner of victory"

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